Priest: I learned the hard way what being ‘pro-life’ requires

CatholicAnchor.org
I was a young priest and knew everything. A young woman came to me in deep pain and depression with the birth of her firstborn son. She had an abortion in her late teens and the birth of her son brought back the experience. She couldn’t forgive herself. I counseled her to go to confession. I told her that God forgave her and she needed to forgive herself. It was that simple.

She left and some years later I received a small booklet written by this young woman. She had nearly committed suicide from the depression and guilt, but now was ministering to other women in the same post-abortion situation.

I was shocked to read that I was mentioned in the book as a young priest who didn’t take seriously enough the need for deep healing and prayer for this woman. I had too lightly dismissed her pain and the need to stand with her while she found the forgiveness and healing she so desperately sought. In my arrogance I too easily dismissed the trauma of an abortion and the need to stand with this woman in the uncomfortable pain she experienced.

I read this booklet, shedding tears and feeling so small. I pledged to take the trauma of abortion seriously no matter what propaganda tried to make it appear as harmless to the woman. I pledged to always make myself available to any woman or man experiencing the pain of an abortion. And I determined to help any woman who was considering an abortion.

When I came to serve as a missionary priest in Russia I encountered the tragedy of multiple abortions in many of my parishioners. I knew we had to help them heal. We launched an outreach called Rachel’s Vineyard, a retreat for women and for men seeking forgiveness and healing from the abortion.

The other step was to help young women considering abortion. I found many didn’t want to abort their child but they were under immense pressure — boyfriends who made the ultimatum: either abortion or separation; parents and grandparents telling her to abort the child because they didn’t want to care for a child.

There were also financial fears and the fear of dropping out of school that led young women to seek abortion. The dilemma for me was how to help these women so they could have their child. It was clear that I needed to put my money where my mouth was. We needed to provide medicine, temporary housing, food and clothes and not for a month, but sometimes for a year, or more. We had to do this if we were serious about really helping these women.

We began to see the need to make sure pregnant women were eating well and taking care of their health. So we began food packages and vitamins for pregnant moms. No matter how bad the situation, there was a way to help — often by working with relatives for housing and convincing boyfriends that the unborn child was a gift.

There have been lots of failures and lots of heartaches, but also much joy. We regularly have gatherings of the moms and children we have helped. Grandmothers and boyfriends (sometimes turned husbands) will attend on occasion — the very people who initially wanted an abortion but are now holding the child that is a small treasure for them. These are the moments I stamp in my heart, moments that make the work more than worth it.

I am an older priest now and it seems I still know very little. But I do know this: If we want to stop the tragedy of abortion, we must show more active love to the mom and her unborn child.

The writer is pastor of the Church of the Nativity in Magadan, Russia.