Getting past awkwardness to strengthen families

CatholicAnchor.org
Not all marriages start on equal footing. Many husbands and wives begin their union after having grown up in broken homes or with one or both parents largely absent from their childhood.

Failure to grow up in a home where family meals, prayer and recreation are staples of life makes it that much harder to establish these practices in one’s own family.

Never seeing your mom and dad work out differences means you have less to draw from when your own conflicts arise. Never experiencing consistent, loving discipline leaves one at a disadvantage when attempting to teach children to lead virtuous and disciplined lives.

Add to this financial stress, illness and new challenges like navigating internet safety and it can be difficult to discern how to fully live out the joy and high calling of family life.

These are some of the reasons Pope Francis cited in calling the Extraordinary Synod on the Family earlier this year. Marriages are suffering, many are broken or fracturing. The pope wants to find ways to support mothers and fathers in their mission of establishing homes where faith is celebrated and passed on as family members grow in love for God and each other.

But we would be amiss to wait till the next gathering of bishops in Rome in order to begin supporting marriages — our own or others. We can begin today if we’re willing to get past the initial awkwardness.

Here’s the challenge:

We must be fearless in seeking out and tapping into the experiences of families which exhibit strengths we’d like to see in our own homes. If we see children who are cheerful and respectful of their peers and elders, we would do well to pull mom or dad aside to learn their secrets. When we hear of families that pray together or eat meals together we shouldn’t balk at asking how they find the time. When we see kids who appear alert and reverent during Mass then let us seek out the parents after the closing hymn. This isn’t about judging others, but about sharing gifts and talents.

And if someone musters the courage and humility to approach you for advice, be ready to give a thoughtful (not preachy) answer — one that might lighten a burden and lift a heart. There is a deep wisdom residing in the members of our local parishes. We ought to freely share it. We are one body, one family, and on this journey together.

Some among us might think about inviting a hurting family over for dinner. Not to lecture or condescend but to share your family’s life and perhaps kindle some bit of inspiration and hope.

The pope is right to call the bishops together to figure out how to support struggling families, but magisterial proclamations won’t matter much unless we can lean on each other.

The writer is editor of the Catholic Anchor, the official newspaper and news website of the Archdiocese of Anchorage, Alaska.