Alaskan deacon’s prep takes unexpected turn down the aisle

CatholicAnchor.org
David Van Tuyl always thought he would marry someday, but as the years passed the right person never appeared.

By the time he turned 50 he had begun studying to be a permanent deacon for the Archdiocese of Anchorage. He had become, if not a confirmed bachelor, at least one content with his life choice. Content enough to accept the church’s tradition that, although married men may be ordained to the permanent diaconate, one cannot embark on a new marriage after being ordained.

“I had embraced the single life,” he recalled.

But life took an unexpected twist for Van Tuyl – now Deacon Van Tuyl – during his five-year diaconate studies. Suddenly, the right person appeared.

“I met a girl,” he said simply. And, since he was deeply involved with his formation program, he turned to the diaconate committee and his spiritual director, fearful that they would be disapproving of what he called his “internal conflict.”

“I was surprised at how thrilled they were,” Deacon Van Tuyl recalled. “They encouraged me to see where this was leading.”

Where it led was to marriage in July of 2015 to Stephanie, a woman he met through their mutual involvement at Holy Family Cathedral. While the rest of his formation class was ordained last spring, Deacon Van Tuyl was ordained a year later, this past May, with his wife in attendance. The deacon recently adopted Stephanie’s two children, Alexandria, 14, and Joshua, 12.

The new deacon describes a beautiful intersection of two vocations.

“A turning point for me was when Stephanie and I took on the habit of praying the daily office together every day,” he said. “The nature of our relationship changed. It became clear to me that Stephanie was a gift from God. I knew, ‘this is just right.’”

He even proposed to his future wife right after evening prayer before the Blessed Sacrament.

Deacon Van Tuyl, now 56, a lifelong Catholic who grew up in Washington state, came to Alaska to work as a chemical engineer 31 years ago. He has been with BP ever since, and has been active at Holy Family Cathedral for years.

He has been involved with just about every ministry there is at the parish, from working with RCIA to jail ministry to assisting with a Scripture study group. The list goes on, but it was his work coordinating the altar servers that ultimately led to marriage.

Both Alexandria and Joshua were altar servers at the cathedral, and one day Alexandria became ill at Mass.

“We better tell your mom,” Deacon Van Tuyl told her. It was the first time he had met Stephanie.

Over the years, he said people at the cathedral “whispered” suggestions like “have you ever considered the priesthood?”

But one day, someone said, “You should sign up for the diaconate,” and it resonated deeply.

“The astronaut Buzz Aldrin supposedly said that God speaks to people primarily at 90-degree angles,” Deacon Van Tuyl said. In other words, rather than a direct message from God, we often hear God speaking through people around us.

Following his ordination, he was assigned as a deacon for Holy Family, and will no doubt continue some of the same work he has been doing, only more so. Additionally, he will take on special tasks of the deacon like baptisms, weddings and preaching. His first homily took place in mid-May. He will also be assigned to some kind of social service work through the archdiocese.

Deacon Van Tuyl fondly recalls that one of the Dominican friars at the cathedral recently commented, only half-jokingly, “We’re going to get some real work out of David now!”

He knows there will be challenges, including “managing family life, work life and church life not as separate things but as one.”

One of the distinct features of diaconal ministry, he said, is bringing Christ into the workplace.

“As a deacon, a member of the clergy, you’re a sign of Christ’s presence in the secular world.”

Thinking ahead to the challenges he faces, Deacon Van Tuyl takes comfort in a quotation offered by the director of deacon ministry and formation for the archdiocese, Deacon Mick Fornelli: “God doesn’t call the enabled, he enables the called.”

Deacon candidates in the Archdiocese of Anchorage normally go through five years of formation. Deacon Fornelli said that presently, a current group of six men are in their third year of formation with a projected ordination date in May 2018.

For more information about the permanent diaconate program, contact Deacon Fornelli at 907-297-7770 or send an email to mfornelli@caa.ak.org.

Click here to view photos from this event.