Ask Fr. Leo: Talk about marriage convalidation and camping

Q:

Dear Fr. Leo,

I am a baptized Catholic and I am looking to return to the Church. I have been married to a wonderful Christian man for the past 32 years. He is an elder in his (Protestant) church. We did not have a Catholic wedding. He supports my return, but he is confused by why we need to get our marriage blessed in the Church. To tell you the truth, so am I. Why is this necessary? – F.N.

A:

Dear F.N., 

Wow! What a joy to hear that you are coming back to the active practice of your Catholic faith. And what a blessing that your husband supports you in this. There a many very good reasons why the Church asks this of you and your husband. 

First let’s talk about how the Church upholds the dignity of marriage not only as a sacrament, but as an institution in such high esteem. The social institution of marriage, in its various forms, existed long before the Church. As you may have ascertained from your own reading of the Bible, especially the Old Testament, it often took the form of a social contract, cementing alliances, joining families and clans, ensuring the transfer of property, etc. The disturbing historical reality was that the bride was more often than not seen as the property of her family and then of the family of the groom. Part of a man’s wealth was counted in the number of wives he could support, as well as fields and flocks and such. 

Jesus changed all that in a very powerful way, first by His presence at the wedding at Cana (see John 2:1-12) and then in His teachings on marriage (Mark 10:2-12), transforming it into what we know now as the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, a “covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life and which is ordered by its nature to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring…” (Can. 1055 §1).

It is obvious from your letter that your husband loves you and wants you to have a deep relationship with Christ. It’s important to remember that for us Catholics such a relationship is lived primarily through and in the midst of His mystical body, the Church. 

Since biblical/apostolic times, the Church has held that marriage is a sacrament of vocation. That is, it is a call to live the gospel in a very specific way for the building up of the church and the world. Thus, the Church has reasonably required that all marriages of its members happen within the context of the Church. Marriage has never been seen as just “you, me, and God.” Rather, it’s “you, me, God and all the rest of us in the Church.” A convalidation brings a marriage that happened outside the Church into the Church. 

The technical word for this is that the marriage is “convalidated.” This is more than a simple blessing of the existing marriage, it is the giving of new consent by the exchange of sacred vows in the presence of the Church’s minister and two witnesses. The preparation for a convalidation is similar to other kinds of marriage preparation, but it concentrates more on the sacramental aspects of the marriage rather than the practicalities of married life. If you have been married 32 years, one can safely assume that you have that part figured out. An essential part of this process is that your husband is informed of your obligations in the Church, as well as the essential properties of marriage as the Church understands it. 

As you come back to the active practice of your Catholic faith in the midst of the Church, it is reasonable, and required as part of that, that your marriage become a part of the Church. As a bonus, we all get to become part of your marriage in a very real and substantial way. As you return to full communion, all the sacraments that were previously unavailable to you are again open to you once again. That’s pretty darn cool. Congratulations and may God bless you and your husband in your continued journey of faith. 

Q:

Dear Fr. Leo,

My family does a lot of camping in the summer. Are we sinning by missing Mass when we can’t get to Church? – T.J.

A:

Dear T.J.,

Alaska is a pretty special place with incredible natural beauty. If you are going to be in a place where you cannot reasonably get to Mass, you should ask your pastor for a dispensation from the Sunday obligation. That fulfills the discipline of canon law. 

However, this is only half the story. The Divine law to keep holy the sabbath still holds. Sunday is still the Lord’s Day. You should celebrate intentionally, perhaps by sharing and reflecting together on the Sunday readings, the Liturgy of the Hours, a family rosary, or some other way of setting the day aside for God.